“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place—Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” (Job 2:11-13, NKJV)

Job’s three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar take a lot of heat, and rightly so. A great portion of the book of Job is comprised of dialogues between Job and these three friends. In these dialogues, Job’s so-called friends pummel him endlessly with insinuations and outright accusations regarding the cause of his great suffering. Essentially, they tell Job that his suffering is the direct result of his personal sin against God.

Of course, we, the reader of the book of Job, know better. We know that Job’s personal sin does not cause job’s suffering, but rather Job is allowed to suffer so that Job’s integrity, and God’s glory, may be vindicated. In the end, that’s exactly what happens— Satan loses, Job is vindicated, God is glorified, and God reprimands Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar for their wrongful accusations against Job (see Job 42).

We know that Job’s personal sin does not cause job’s suffering, but rather Job is allowed to suffer so that Job’s integrity, and God’s glory, may be vindicated.

In Considering Job I entitled one of the chapters on Job’s three friends, “With Friends Like These.” Of course, that is part of the well-known saying, “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Job’s friends did fail him, and it was right and proper for God to call them to account. They got a lot of things wrong. Through their false accusations and misguided theology, they added to Job’s already massive suffering.

However, they did get one thing right, and we see that in Job 2:11-13. When Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar first laid eyes on their suffering friend, they lifted their voices (presumably in prayer or lament), they wept, and they tore their clothes and sprinkled dust on their heads (an act of mourning). In addition to this triad of kindness, they also sat in silence with him for seven days and seven nights, “for they saw that his grief was very great” (Job 2:13, NKJV).   

they also sat in silence with him for seven days and seven nights, “for they saw that his grief was very great”

In the richness of God’s revelation, He provides us with a variety of examples. Some of these are good precedents. These are exemplars God calls us to be like; paramount among them, of course, is Jesus Christ. God, however, also provides us with bad examples, people we should not be like.

Both types of models, good and bad, are “profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17, NKJV). In the case of Job’s three friends, we find both kinds of examples. In their initial response to Job, we find in Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar a good example of how to minister to our Christian brothers and sisters who are suffering. We should mourn with them, weep with them, and be with them.

But Job’s friends also teach us through their bad example. They made rash and wrong conclusions about their Christian brother's suffering, which caused Job’s suffering to increase. We modern Christians can make this same mistake when we make similar snap judgments about the suffering of our Christian brothers and sisters.

The good and bad examples provided by Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar offer us some sound wisdom—when ministering to others who are suffering, follow the practice of sitting and silence. Let’s follow the wisdom of James and be “swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19, NKJV).

Let’s follow the wisdom of James and be “swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19, NKJV).

We are living in a time when many Christians are suffering—suffering from the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, suffering from isolation in senior care facilities, suffering from the loss of life, work, and, in some cases, even the ability to worship with the people of God. On top of these particular sufferings of our time, there is a myriad of common forms of suffering that our Christian brothers and sisters are enduring—a battle with cancer, a marriage in jeopardy, a child in trouble.

One of the great privileges we have as believers is to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15, NKJV). We have the privilege of being there for those who suffer. Learn from the good and bad examples that we find in Job’s friends and commit yourself to be a friend to those suffering.

Also, never forget that you have a Friend who will never leave you and never forsake you— a Friend who will be with you until the very end of the age. You have a Friend in Jesus Christ, and he is “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).