“In this House We Believe: Love is Love”
Posted by Daniel Stanley on 1st Jun 2024
This is the third post in a series addressing some components of the secularist’s faith, as expounded in this common sign:
In this house, we believe:
Black lives matter
Women’s rights are human rights
No human is illegal
Science is real
Love is love
Kindness is everything
“Love is Love”
In this post, I’d like to take a stab at the statement “Love is love.” As a slogan, this has the appeal of simplicity, but as a statement of belief, it lacks depth.
Everyone knows love isn’t always love; wasn’t it Shakespeare who said, “Love’s not true love, which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove”? The impact of the statement is to defend homosexual love, but in this, it falls far short of its task.
Love in Christian Teaching
Marital love, romantic love, and sexual love tend to flourish in Christianity for three reasons.
First, the Bible uniquely emphasizes the dignity of women as image-bearers in their own right and not as objects to be used.
Second, Christian teaching on the goodness of creation makes romantic and sexual love within marriage a positive good.
Third, and perhaps most impactful, is the Christian teaching on forgiveness, grace, and love as a gift of self for the good of another.
This last point meets sinners where they are and leads them in Christ to embrace each other, not as wounded lovers too offended by the sins of the other to give freely, but as those who, by God’s mercy, are ministers of gospel reconciliation, and who, like Christ, can bear the reproaches of those who hurt them (Romans 15:3). Anyone who has been married for more than a few weeks knows the importance of grace in a marriage!
The Gift of Self
But this idea of love as a gift of self for the good of the other depends on a stable definition of “good.” There’s so much to say here, but in brief, what is good for a person is what accords with God’s law and God’s gift of life in creation.
In other words, what is good for someone will never lead them away from God’s law and will not fundamentally lead them away from their own personhood (sin is not an essential feature of personhood).
Homosexual “Love”
What about homosexual love? Does this pass the test of true goodness? Clearly, homosexuality transgresses God’s law (Leviticus 20:13), and so participation in homosexual behavior cannot be regarded as good for anyone. Less frequently addressed is that homosexual behavior cuts against the grain of our sexuality. Men were created to be men, to be masculine, and to love femininity. Women were likewise created to be women, feminine, and attracted to masculinity.
These inclinations are not incidental to our nature but at the core of who we are, even outside of a relationship. While it is possible to have romantic affection toward someone of the same sex, it is not possible for a homosexual relationship to be an instance of the gift of self for the good of another.
Homosexuality and the Gospel
What is needed here is what is always needed, namely, the gospel of Jesus Christ. As we look to Christ to be made new, our desires progressively conform to God’s law, and our loves conform to his character.
This doesn’t mean that people practicing homosexuality who trust in Jesus will automatically find themselves with new sexual attractions, but that their desire to gratify the flesh will lessen as their longing for a new world, where righteousness dwells, grows by grace within them.
Moreover, they will be enabled by the Spirit to give of themselves for the true good of the recipient, even when that gift of self clashes with their sinful proclivities.